i love that i have to go to menswear to find a shirt a human being in the world would wear and then when i do it takes me .5 seconds to find it. I love that
me: i need a plain black t shirt
target women’s section: would you like to have a giant scoop neck that would definitely like completely show at least one of your boobs. would you, an adult woman, like to wear a crop top? would you like to look like a human piñata. BLACK? I think you mean jewel tones babey!
target men’s section: yeah sure. it’s the first thing you see as you walk into the shirt aisle. have a good one
Women’s section: would you like a shirt made out of tissue paper that costs $34.99??
Men’s section: here’s 25 normal tshirts for a quarter
Women’s Section: Would you like to play fucking guessing games with our arbitrary sizing systems and style names? Also, we added a bunch of fake pockets for your personal inconvenience!
Men’s Section: Here’s a bunch of pants organized by the exact inch length of your waist and legs. With pockets that can hold more than just a credit card.
Women’s Section: Oh you want a plain tee-shirt? Here you go, it’s completely see through so you either have to a) wear something else over it or b) let everyone see your bra!
Men’s Section: Here’s an amazingly comfortable shirt that no one can see your undergarments through. Have a nice day!
Women’s section: if you’re a nerd? I guess you wanna show titties and have glitter huh???
Men’s section: Here this has the hogwarts crest on it and it’s like five bucks
also today i was walking my dog and some old dude, in southern fashion, stopped to talk to me about her for a solid 5 minutes and at one point she started barking at something and i said sorry she’s so loud and he said to me “aw that’s alright. she’s a coonhound so she’s got lungs fit to blow the trumpets at rapture” and then chortled as though he hadn’t just spit the southern equivalent of shakespearean improv at me on the street
I was working on Prince Edward Island a few weeks ago and an old guy who was mentioning to me about a really tall and strong guy that he knew, and said casually, “If he hit ya, ye’d starve to death rolling” and then moved on with the conversation like he hadn’t just painted the most ridiculous picture in my mind of Island life.
it’s all “accidental hand touch” this and “brief longing gaze” that, where’s my support at for “reaching up and fixing someone’s collar for them” crew??
the intimacy disguised as helpfulness! the lingering contact! the optional subdued “you look nice” as they stand too close!!
